Unless you're a total hermit, you will eventually be faced with a friend or co-worker who is suffering from an embarrassing problem. Depending on your relationship with the person, it may be difficult to broach the subject. We've come up with a complete guide for identifying, assessing, and dealing with the majority of embarrassing situations that you might encounter.
Step One: Problem Identification & Assessment:
Most people are embarrassed easily, but what might be embarrassing to one person may be just a typical day for another (body odor comes to mind). For that reason, we’ve come up with a pretty standard list of “issues”, along with a general scale of how embarrassing most people consider them.
1. Minor Inconveniences – Toilet paper on shoe, tag sticking out, hair out of place
2. Unpleasant – Bra strap showing, visible panty line (the VPL), deodorant marks on clothing, food on shirt
3. Cringeworthy – Food in teeth, food on face, too much perfume or cologne, “nose goblins”, LOTS of food on shirt
4. Nothing a Sick Day or Two Can’t Cure – Crack “issues”, Body Odor, Zipper Undone
5. Worth Getting a New Job, Address, and Identity – Zipper undone while going commando, curious “stains” (diet pills, anyone?)
Before taking action, you’ll want to consider a few things. First, how embarrassing is the problem? What are the consequences of NOT telling the person? Will they walk into a huge meeting with unmentionable body parts on display? Is he or she out for the evening, approaching members of the opposite sex with a grill full of spinach?
Beyond that, think about what the person in question could do to fix the problem. If the answer is “nothing”, you may want to just let it go. There’s no sense in ruining someone’s day over something they can’t change.
Finally, look out for yourself. Will the person be mad if you mention the problem? If you don’t mention it, will they know that you knew and be angry with you?
Obviously, shouting, “Hey Ignatius, didn’t anybody ever tell you that crack kills?” across your office isn’t the most delicate way to handle an embarrassing situation. If your target isn’t already alone, try to figure out a way to get them alone, or at the very least, whisper. Remember, we are trying to minimize embarrassment here, not make everyone in the general area aware of the problem.
If you’re dealing with a member of the opposite sex, take a moment to decide whether or not you’re the right person to inform them of the issue. It’s very different for a man to point out a woman’s visible panty line than for a female to do so. If nothing else, it lets that person know that you were glancing in that general area, which may not be the best message to send. We recommend that you hand the job off to someone more appropriate if it deals with a problem above the knees and below the shoulders.
When you let the target know about the problem, try to be helpful. Say things like, “I just thought you’d rather know,” “Here’s a tissue,” or “I’ll stand in front and block while you zip/adjust/etc.” If you do everything tastefully and with sensitivity, you could find yourself with a long-time ally.
Of course, if you’re dealing with unfastened zippers and/or “crack issues”, we wholeheartedly endorse the use of the Airzooka Air Cannon. We’re mean like that.
I would tell a person that is showing too much cleavage that for $15 they should go & buy a Winkee @ wwww.theWinkee.com ...it covers cleavage and its the latest invention in fashion!
Homeskillet - There are some places you just don't want to see cleavage (like episodes of Murder, She Wrote). The way I see it, Teejay has a couple of options: (1) Show a little man-cleavage with the "If you can, I can" defense, (2) Offer the offending woman a shawl or turtleneck at every possible opportunity, (3) Leave passive-aggressive notes about the cleavage in the bathroom stalls, or (4) Get a supervisor to address the issue as a matter of professionalism. Let us know what happens!
What? You're complaining about seeing too much cleavage,Beejay? Assuming you're talking about female cleavage, what are you, the homo-gay?!
How would you tell someone who is just showing too much of cleavage and stuff in there (and we are tired of it, really)
Where do you work, eek? Fast food? A strip club? If you're a PROFESSIONAL, sometimes these things matter. Try giving a presentation to prospective clients with a bra strap showing...or your toupee out of whack. Not earth-shattering, but definitely not ideal, comfortable, or professional in most cases.
Can I suggest that many of those things actually don't matter? Bra strap showing? Hair out of place? I hope I never end up working with someone like you.
Our company got fed up with the "handle everything delicately" approach, and now uses the "just tell it like it is" approach, and doesn't care about embarrassment ("If you don't want to be embarassed, just don't let it happen in the first place" is the general idea).
A case in point is one male who constantly seemed to like to show everyone his underwear everytime he either bent over to pick something up, crouched down, etc. The first time he got told that it was the last thing someone wanted to see as he walked around the office, the second time he got warned that he wouldn't be told again. The third time we gave him a wedgie and watched him penguin to the toilets. He's not done it again since.
It's your office. You are the boss. So tell them anything you need to in a decent way. Period. They don't like it? Tough. Don't have to be dumb and be afraid of not being "nice". There are dress codes as well as well as behavioral ones so just stick to them If employees don't then throw the book at them!
Best advice? Line up everyone in the office and say "All those without Body Odour take one step forward. Where do you think you're going Mr. ********"