How to Address An Embarrassing Problem

Unless you're a total hermit, you will eventually be faced with a friend or co-worker who is suffering from an embarrassing problem. Depending on your relationship with the person, it may be difficult to broach the subject. We've come up with a complete guide for identifying, assessing, and dealing with the majority of embarrassing situations that you might encounter.

Step One: Problem Identification & Assessment:

Most people are embarrassed easily, but what might be embarrassing to one person may be just a typical day for another (body odor comes to mind). For that reason, we’ve come up with a pretty standard list of “issues”, along with a general scale of how embarrassing most people consider them.

1. Minor Inconveniences – Toilet paper on shoe, tag sticking out, hair out of place
2. Unpleasant – Bra strap showing, visible panty line (the VPL), deodorant marks on clothing, food on shirt
3. Cringeworthy – Food in teeth, food on face, too much perfume or cologne, “nose goblins”, LOTS of food on shirt
4. Nothing a Sick Day or Two Can’t Cure – Crack “issues”, Body Odor, Zipper Undone
5. Worth Getting a New Job, Address, and Identity – Zipper undone while going commando, curious “stains” (diet pills, anyone?)

Before taking action, you’ll want to consider a few things. First, how embarrassing is the problem? What are the consequences of NOT telling the person? Will they walk into a huge meeting with unmentionable body parts on display? Is he or she out for the evening, approaching members of the opposite sex with a grill full of spinach?

Beyond that, think about what the person in question could do to fix the problem. If the answer is “nothing”, you may want to just let it go. There’s no sense in ruining someone’s day over something they can’t change.

Finally, look out for yourself. Will the person be mad if you mention the problem? If you don’t mention it, will they know that you knew and be angry with you?

Obviously, shouting, “Hey Ignatius, didn’t anybody ever tell you that crack kills?” across your office isn’t the most delicate way to handle an embarrassing situation. If your target isn’t already alone, try to figure out a way to get them alone, or at the very least, whisper. Remember, we are trying to minimize embarrassment here, not make everyone in the general area aware of the problem.

If you’re dealing with a member of the opposite sex, take a moment to decide whether or not you’re the right person to inform them of the issue. It’s very different for a man to point out a woman’s visible panty line than for a female to do so. If nothing else, it lets that person know that you were glancing in that general area, which may not be the best message to send. We recommend that you hand the job off to someone more appropriate if it deals with a problem above the knees and below the shoulders.

When you let the target know about the problem, try to be helpful. Say things like, “I just thought you’d rather know,” “Here’s a tissue,” or “I’ll stand in front and block while you zip/adjust/etc.” If you do everything tastefully and with sensitivity, you could find yourself with a long-time ally.

Of course, if you’re dealing with unfastened zippers and/or “crack issues”, we wholeheartedly endorse the use of the Airzooka Air Cannon. We’re mean like that.