Signs That You Might Be in For a Nasty Surprise

Sometimes, we're amazed by the "surprises" in the news. Lindsay Lohan has issues? You're kidding. Lance Bass is gay? You don't say...

But then again, maybe we're the only ones who think this stuff is obvious. Just in case, we've prepared a list of signs that you might be in for a nasty surprise.

• You inquire about your date’s last name only to be told, “It’s not important.”


• Your doctor begins a sentence with, “Well, on the bright side…”


• Your lawyer begins a sentence with the same words.


• You see vultures flying overhead. Indoors.


• Your significant other invites you to appear on a talk show.


• Your shoeshine boy tells you about how well his stocks are doing.


• Your significant other, who has been 30 pounds overweight for as long as you can remember, has suddenly made his or her way to the low end of the healthy BMI range.


• You come home to find a trail of lingerie leading to the master bedroom. You live with your grandmother.