It's not like the holidays aren't awkward enough on their own. Most family events seem to be carefully orchestrated dances around all the things no one wants to talk about. Aunt Debbie's drinking habit. Cousin Josh and his very special male friend. The real reason that your brother left school. And heaven forbid anyone mention the lacy women's unmentionables that keep showing up in Grandpa's pockets.
Most of us politely ignore these things during the holidays, but there are always those bad apples who enjoy the thrill of creating awkward moments with an audience. For those people, we've created this list of great ways to make everyone squirm. Except for Aunt Debbie, of course, because she'll be passed out in the bedroom with the coats by that time.
2. Raunchy Wrapping Paper - Plenty of stores offer naughty wrapping paper, but what's the point in that if it will be discovered the moment you enter the party. This lets you save the fun for later.
3. Dolly, the Inflatable Love Sheep - For a mere $30, you can make someone the proud owner of Dolly "I Want Ewe to Want Me" the Love Sheep. This is great if you have farmers in the family, as it could leave some of the family members wondering if the gift is more than just an innocent joke.
4. The Banana Bunker - Oh sure, YOU know it's innocent. That doesn't mean THEY will. Just wrap it up with no explanation and let them try to figure it out. Once you've given them a few minutes to discuss, you can have a little fun berating your "vile, filthy relatives" who thought it was something other than a banana protector.
5. Under Ease Charcoal Filter Underpants - These airtight underwear have triangular charcoal filters so no one has to smell your "malodorous flatus". They come in "male", "female", and "unisex". Always, always go for the unisex.
6. Ready, Set, Grow! A What's Happening to My Body Book for Younger Girls or What's Going on Down There?: Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask - Don't forget the teens and tweens in the family. These books are a sure-fire way to make them turn a festive shade of Christmas red.
Have more suggestions? Speak up in the comments. There's plenty of time left to make the holidays mortifying for someone you love.
Apparently, the charcoal in the Under Ease Underpants is much like the charcoal filters you see on many garbage cans or litter boxes - they absorb the unpleasant odors.
Unsure what you mean by these fart pants?