Most people who venture into the world of online dating are perfectly happy with something like Match.com or eHarmony (despite the fact the eHarmony is well-known for rejecting people for things like homosexuality or lack of religion). You take 1800 pictures of yourself, choose the two that make you look halfway normal, write a few words about how you like funny people who love life, and you're off.
But what about the people who won't find their matches on Match.com? Although I've never really been on the market during the online dating era, I've certainly enjoyed an evening or two perusing profiles with friends. What I saw was hardly representative of the world as a whole.
Where were the obese, the midgets, and the amputees? What about the inbred cousins looking for cousins, or the guys with one regular arm and one teeny tiny little mutant arm? Or the creepy 65-year-old diaper fetishists with cabins in Everglades and bodies beneath the floorboards? It was truly puzzling.
So puzzling, in fact, that I set out to find the sites that cater to, shall we say, atypical markets. I've detailed my findings below, though I'll warn you now that some of the sites are not safe for work (or your stomach).
Pierced Passions and Tattooed Singles - If you're the type of person who views your body as a canvas, this is the dating site for you.
Best introduction line: Why don't you come back to my place so I can show you my new tatts (or piercing)...
No Longer Lonely - Do you ever wish you could just die? Do you hear voices? Do you ever feel like you just can't get clean enough? No Longer Lonely is the perfect place to find someone equally disturbed. They provide a place for mentally ill people to find their mentally ill partners - and what could possibly go wrong with that?
Best introduction line: Hey baby, what's your medication regimen?
Trek Passions - I'll admit, there's something hot about a guy who knows what you're talking about when you quote Dune or Robert Heinlein...someone who understands the trouble with Tribbles...or someone who doesn't open the car door and push you out when you start debating possible errors in the original Star Wars movies.
Of course, there's also something hot about guys that bathe and go outside from time to time. If little things like that don't bother you, though, Trek Passions is a great place to find your true love. The more technical science geeks could also check out SciConnect.
Best introduction line: Where were you the day Episode I came out in theaters?
420 Dating - Boy, those potheads sure are clever. 420 Dating. Who'd ever figure that one out? If you want a date who's guaranteed to clear out your kitchen cabinets on a regular basis, look no further.
Best introduction line: I've got a cabinet full of Cheetos and I just made some very special brownies...
18 Wheel Singles - It seems like everyone on this site is located in the midwest (though I doubt distance matters too much when you're a trucker). Strangely, I find myself tilting my head and thinking, "Awww, how nice," when I read through the listings on this site.
Hello. I am a 29 year old female. I am in school for my CDL and I am ISO a 20-40 yr. old male, to ride with as a team. I enjoy life to its fullest and would love to have someone to share it with.
Good for you, trucker lady!
Best introduction line: So, are you a Sirius or XM fan?
Ayn Rand Dating - There are people who read Ayn Rand novels and enjoy them, and then there are those who read Ayn Rand novels and enjoy them WAY TOO MUCH. This site is for the latter.
Best introduction line: Who is John Galt?
Hot Saints - For Mormons. I'm not going to go there. As long as they stay off my doorstep, the Mormons and I are fine.
Best introduction line: How about you and I pickup a nice caffeine-free beverage and talk about the Book of Mormon?
Meet an Ostomate - If you've ever had trouble making yourself vomit, do a Google Image Search for "colostomy bag". Problem solved. If you're wondering, an ostomy is a medically created opening in the body for fliud drainage into a pouch of some sort.
Sadly, though, plenty of people have colostomies or other kinds of ostomies (which sounds like a made-up word, but it really isn't). They need love, too, and this is the place for them to find it.
Best introduction line: How about a nice weekend away, just you, me, and our waste containment pouches?
Women Behind Bars - If you're a Clyde looking for your very own Bonnie, consider this the proverbial jackpot. Many of the ladies are more attractive than you might think, and most have release dates within the next couple of years. Of course, you probably shouldn't make them angry. The site doesn't specify their offenses.
Best introduction line: Hey baby, why don't you and I do 20 to life?
Ashley Madison - Dating for married people - their tagline is "When monogamy becomes monotony." Sadly, this site has 2 million members. I doubt they all have "special arrangements". After all, those types are all over at Adult Friend Finder, right?
Best introduction line: My wife just doesn't understand me.
Farmers Only - You don't have to be a farmer for this dating site, just a farmer at heart. Coming from a small farming town, it seemed like all the farmers I knew had unofficially married off by the time they joined high school FFA (that's Future Farmers of America, for you city kids). Of course, those that hadn't had a pretty bleak love outlook, so I guess this site is a good thing for those people.
Best introduction line: Can I buy you a corndog at the 4-H fair?
Sugar Daddie - If you've seen the show "Millionaire Matchmaker, you understand the basic concept of this site. Their tagline is, "Where the classy, attractive, and affluent can meet".
I'm sure they're all very special in their own way.
Best introduction line: Hey baby, wanna feel my...wallet?
BBW Singles Finder - For "big, beautiful women". Given than 1 in 3 American adults are obese, this site comes as no surprise.
Best introduction line: I reckon you've got the prettiest cankles I've ever seen.
Whispers 4 U - Dating for differently abled people.
Best introduction line: Instead of making the obvious jokes, we're just going to refer to the surprising number of profiles that say, "I am not disabled, but I am open minded." Good for them.
Scientific Match - They say you'll find the perfect match with a simple DNA sample. Because they're matching you scientifically, they claim they'll pair you with someone whose natural scent will be appealing to you, and with whom you will experience enhanced fertility. How romantic.
Best introduction line: You don't need one. A scientist will tell you everything you need to know.
Veggie Love - As you might have guessed, this is a dating site for vegetarians. This makes a whole lot of sense. It's a pain in the butt to prepare meals or go out to eat with a vegetarian. That goes triple for vegans.
Best introduction line: I make a mean tofurkey loaf...
Daily Diapers - Yes, the young man above is wearing a diaper and holding a bottle. Apparently, someone out there finds that sort of thing irresistible.
As you might guess, this crowd is pretty open-minded. You don't necessarily have to be into diapers. They also welcome those who enjoy plastic pants, rubber diaper covers, and sissy clothes (I'm not sure what that is but I don't like the sound of it).
Best introduction line: Ma Ma!
I was just reading the comments...what the hell is piss play?
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i love fat women and mcdoalds i want to know those girls numbers send me a email
Hey everyone. if anyone interested in sendin me pics of them in diapers i wood return the favor. i love seein guys or girls in them. i am 22 m and bi curious. and i have a HUGE fetish for diapers and piss play. or if anyone just wants someone to share a story with. . . holla
lol wow! I have one for you to add to that list. you'll LOVE this one.. http://www.mailorderhusbands.net/order/ Rifle through the profiles, you're sure to have a laugh!
I would like to share my personal iterest of having an obesed girlfriend,it my interest to have one incase it will be possible at this time,i promise to love and never to let her dissappointed.
I love mustard
What??? You mean you don't want to find the diaper-wearing, truck-driving, pot-smoking love of your life?
Hi Stefanie! This is one of the weirdest posts I've ever read...haha! How freakish these sites are. I will have to pass on all of them lol:)
The BBWs in bikinis photo is gross, and unfortunately it probably isn't photoshopped flab. Do two of them have bikini bottoms on or not? From the front you just can't tell. Has anyone else noticed the butt-sniffing dog on the left?
pierced passion.. tattooed singles and.... LOL. I didn't know that there's a dating site like that. soooo.. (no offense) weird, unique and interesting.
It's funny how all geeks remember where they were for Episode I - I spent almost 8 hours in line with members of the university's sci-fi club. They wore costumes and juggled the entire time. It was something else...
Trek Passions is the one I would have been most likely to use. Good thing it wasn't around, because my husband is totally not into science fiction. Would have been just too much GEEK to hook me up with a fellow Trekkie.
P.S. I went straight from school to the movie theater the day Episode I was released. I was sorely disappointed. But then I'm more a Star Trek, then a Star Wars girl.