Hopefully all of you readers love your dad and want to give him something awesome for Father's Day that he will like and actually use. But, if you aren't so fond of Pops, buy him one of these gifts and you won't even have to say "I hate you, Dad"....the crappy present will say it for you.
Bottle of Brut (or any other cheap cologne)
If you dislike your dad and want him to smell like and old man who shops at Walgreens, go ahead and buy him a bottle of the classic green stuff. Hey, no one said all classics are good. If your dad actually likes and wears Brut in the year 2008, then your gift will not be considered bad. Proceed on down this list.
Anything that says "#1 Dad" or "World's Greatest Dad" on it
Dad's do not want to wear anything this cheesy. And no man wants to carry around a wussy canvas tote bag with camo writing. If you're the type of guy that likes camo, I doubt you also like tote bags. Unless you are are under the age of 7, giving your dad a gift like this is a blatant way of saying you put zero thought into his gift and have no regard for his style. Hopefully this shirt isn't a step up from your dad's current style.
The Uro Club
Yes, friends, the Uro Club is a golf club that you pee in. Call me old fashioned, but I'm not going to freak out if a golfer walks to the edge of the green and pees in the woods. I'd rather have that happen than a guy hooking a towel to his belt loops as a privacy screen and just brazenly standing there in the wide open. What golfer holds a towel like that over his club? This is in no way discreet. Lose the towel, and the stance looks normal. But, the towel can't exactly be eliminated. I hope the cap is ultra leak-proof since golf clubs are stored upside down. Give your dad one of these, and he'll be wishing he never played a part in your existence.
A tacky tie
Nothing says "I don't have the slightest care in the world" like a gift that is intentionally tacky. If you give Dad a flamboyant themed tie, be prepared for him to strangle you with it. Although the silly-tie-as-a-present gig is totally played out, do it if you must in order to anger your dad.
Mini guitar MP3 player on a lanyard
You could trick Dad into thinking this uRock Guitar MP3 Player is actually cool. With the success of Guitar Hero, Rock Band, and the appearance of contestants with guitars on the 2008 season of American Idol, guitars are having a pretty great year. Make him look like an idiot when he wears the mini guitar (available with flames on it) around his neck with the included lanyard. Rocking out while on the move has never looked so lame.
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