photo credit: Christina Snyder
A while back, I came across a blog where the author called herself an "occasional vegetarian". This struck me as one of the stupidest things she could have possibly said. Guess what? I'm an occasional vegetarian, too - like yesterday, when I was a vegetarian for the 7 hour stretch between the sausage I had for breakfast and the hamburger I had at lunch.
This prompted me to think about similarly ridiculous phrases and oxymora (that's the plural of oxymoron)...
No offense...: Anyone who's ever used or heard this one knows it's nearly always used immediately before the speaker says something offensive. If you know it's potentially offensive and you say it anyway, this doesn't get you off the hook.
Keep It Simple, Stupid: It's not that it doesn't make sense - it does. The problem is that every person I've ever encountered using this expression says it in a way that's just begging for a solid punch in return.
Found Missing: How does that even happen?
And finally, this expression isn't stupid at all. It actually conjures up a very strong mental image...
...Face like a dropped meat pie: Yeah, that's pretty ugly.
No offense, but that was a pointless post. Ha! Only kidding. Good points.
But, how about: It's Always in the Last Place You Look. Well, of course it is. Why keep looking once you've found it?
Or, Head Over Heels in Love. Isn't your head over your heels pretty much most of the time? Do people walk upside down on their hands when they're not in love? Maybe that's a good way to meet available singles. Look for people walking on their hands. Their heels are over their heads so they must not be in love!