August 2008 Archives

Express Your Love With Ebonics

| | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Shit Bitch You Is Fine Teddy Bear - Brown.jpg

When I first saw this teddy bear holding a puffy red heart that reads "SHIT BITCH YOU IS FINE" I thought it was a joke. Then I found out you can actually purchase one for only $12.99 and you can choose between white or brown. This is good news because I hate when you find a product that isn't available for sale. No one likes a tease.

It might not read the standard "I Love You" or "Be Mine", but a compliment is a compliment no matter how ghetto it sounds or how poor the grammar.

The website says "Give One and Get Some". If you don't believe it, check out the pie chart (the results are undoubtedly from authentic scientific research) showing how much more action you'll get if you give the SHIT BITCH YOU IS FINE bear instead of a typical, boring Valentine's Day gift. Really, this bear could be given year-round. Why wait until February 14 to give this gem to the fine bitch in your life?

Pie chart for Shit Bitch bear.jpg

Check out the website and read the hilariousness that is written about the Shit Bitch Bear. If you think this bear is offensive or rude, then chances are you aren't going to laugh at the sales pitch either. In that case, maybe you should stick with the cutesy standard "I Love You" bear.

In a down economy, it can be tough to find extra money to send off to charitable causes, no matter how much you may want to. Luckily, there are a multitude of ways to give back without spending a lot of time or money. Below, we've covered 25 ways to make a difference, including some old favorites and a sizable number of less common strategies.

Also, please note: Inclusion in this list does not necessarily imply that Vat19 endorses a particular charity or organization. We encourage you to do your own research if you have any concerns about a specific nonprofit organization.

pound-dog.jpg

1. Shop at your local animal shelter. Many shelters, like Animal Haven Shelter in New York, offer classes and sell products to help fund their continued efforts. Why go to PetSmart for obedience classes or food when you can go to the local shelter and get the same thing while supporting a worthy cause?

Even better, if you get your pet at the shelter, you can often deduct the adoption fee as a charitable donation. Be sure to inquire with both the shelter and your tax preparer first, of course. Try Petfinder for easy "pet shopping" from home.

2. Give away what you don't need. Let's face it, the few dollars you pick up selling most old stuff on eBay is not worth your effort. On the other hand, many charities have established eBay accounts that sell used goods on a regular basis, allowing them to efficiently list or ship dozens of items at a time. And of course, Goodwill and Salvation Army will accept most common household items and clothing.

Consignment stores like Christabelle's Closet allow you to donate your clothing and have the proceeds allocated for the charity of your choice. By donating your unwanted apparel (or buying someone else's), you're sending money directly to a variety of worthy causes.

Don't forget the special occasion or professional apparel, either. Whether you need to get rid of suits, coats, or even old prom dresses, there's an organization that will put them to good use. Check out The Career Wardrobe, The Glass Slipper Project, or One Warm Coat. You can also donate your fur coat or other real fur items to help injured wildlife.

3. Wish lists. Similar to #2, many charities have wish lists of items they need either in the short-term, or on an ongoing basis. By making yourself familiar with these lists, you can have them in mind whenever you see someone throwing those items away or selling them at a garage sale. Pet carriers and bedding, for instance, are nearly always needed at most animal shelters, and many people throw them out after their pets die or grow out of them.

megaphone.jpg

4. Use your voice. If you support a particular cause, make it known. At first, it may feel odd, like you're bragging about your charitable contributions. Get over it. There's no need to be obnoxious or tell people how much and how often you donate. A simple mention of the who and why will suffice.

If you happen to have a website, e-mail list, or other public forum, make your support known there, too. There's no rule that says all donations have to be cash. Your influence helps, too.

5. Let someone else allocate the funds. Markmakers offers easy gift cards you can give to kids (or anyone else, really) that offer fun ways to allocate the funds. Instead of buying another toy that will get tossed in a few weeks, kids can dedicate their new funds to the care of injured seals, food for the hungry, and shelter for retired performance animals. In addition to sending the funds to a good cause, you're inspiring your recipient to act compassionately in the future.

6. Use charity-friendly search engines. For instance, GoodSearch sends approximately 1 penny to charity for each search performed through their engine.

7. Make your online purchases through charity malls. Sites like We-Care and Greater Good receive commissions from major retailers and use those commissions to send money to charitable causes.

shopping.jpg

8. Purchase items that donate proceeds to charity. Hundreds of manufacturers have designated certain items to benefit particular charitable causes. For example, the manufacturers of the Little Pink Toolkit here at Vat19 send $7.90 of each purchase to charity. Marie Claire maintains a list of additional products you can buy to send money to charity while getting something in return. Since it's Marie Claire, the items featured are best suited to women or men who aren't afraid to be associated with the color pink.

One note, though - Don't buy something just because you want to give money to charity. Buy it because you want it and you consider the charitable contribution a bonus. If you prefer just to donate to your favorite charity, that's always an option.

A few more items you can buy to benefit charities:

  • Nubar Nail Polish - 10% goes to the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

  • Try It On Everything - This DVD explores Emotional Freedom Techniques for coping with a variety of personal issues. For each copy purchased, another copy is donated to an organization that could use it (including charities and prisons).
  • If you're near Huntington Beach, you can purchase Chalk Hill Estate's Imagine wine at The Californian restaurant at the Hyatt Regency Huntington Beach Resort & Spa. Proceeds support the Furth Family Foundation, an organization that benefits children around the world.
  • Angel Covers - Their premise is simple: You buy a blanket and they'll donate another to a needy child.
  • Submerged: Tales from the Basin - This anthology of stories and images related to hair (really!) sends 10% of its proceeds to causes related to the Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
  • GOOD Magazine - If you enjoy reading about social and environmental issues, you'll love the fact that 100% of the proceeds of this magazine go to charitable causes.
  • Vino 100 Valencia / Hope Wines - 50% of the proceeds from Hope Wines will go to charities that benefit breast cancer, AIDS and autism.
  • StinkyKids - 40% of the proceeds from these t-shirts will go to Girls on the Run, an experiential running and life skills program for girls age 8 to 13 years old.

9. Play the free rice game. For each vocabulary question you get correct, Free Rice will donate 20 grains of rice through the UN World Food Program. If you know any high school students getting ready for the SATs or ACTs, this is a great way to brush up.

10. View ads to generate donations. By visiting The Hungersite and viewing ads for their sponsors, you are helping to ensure that more food is sent over to people who need it desperately.

voluntourism.jpg

11. Engage in Voluntourism - If you're craving something a little different from the typical "fruity rum drinks on the beach" experience, you could try combining your vacation with service. Voluntourism.org offers a wealth of resources for those who'd like to give back while getting away.

12. Procrastinate - Increasingly social media-savvy nonprofits have figured out ways to use your wasted time for the good of the world in general. Take Lil Green Patch or Earn for Aids, for instance. The use of applications like these results in ad revenue and donations to charities and other worthy causes.

13. Stop Being a Bystander - Somewhere along the line, we learned to distance ourselves from our charitable acts. We want to help, but many of us seem to think that you have to give time or money directly to a charity to be helpful.

Sometimes, that really is the most efficient solution. Who's to say that the family in need of clothing will need exactly the same size you're discarding? Other times, however, your direct assistance is the best help you could possibly offer.

If you see an elderly neighbor who needs help getting the groceries inside, you don't have to send $10 to a local community organization that helps out with those things. You can walk outside, offer your services, and see the difference you're making first-hand.

14. Use your skills - Sites like Idealist.org and Volunteer Match can help you find a wide variety of volunteer opportunities to suit your unique interests and talents. Although you shouldn't necessarily limit yourself to these services, they're a great place to start. If you'd like to help an organization not listed, just call them and ask. As a bonus, you may walk away with a great reference, a friend, or a new skill.

15. Use your body as advertising space. Just to be clear, I'm not suggesting you go out and get "Save the Whales" tattooed on your face. Instead, try something a little more subtle. Wear a t-shirt with your favorite non-profit's name on the front. If that's not your style, pick up some blank tote bags and paint them with the name of your favorite charity. Instead of using plastic bags at the grocery store, you can use your new charity bags and help out both the non-profit and the environment (Thanks to Maureen Alexander for the tip).

16. Encourage Others. If you see someone acting charitably, let them know that you recognize and appreciate what they're doing. You'll brighten their day and give them one more reason to keep giving.

17. Sponsor a volunteer. Although money is important, time is just as valuable for most non-profits. Unfortunately, with gas prices as they are these days, many volunteers are finding it harder and harder to leave the house. If you can't find time to volunteer, why not pick up a spare gas card for someone who can. If you don't know anyone, just send it to the charity you wish to support and let them know of your wishes. They'll be able to put it to good use.

18. Donate Leftovers to a Soup Kitchen - We've all had those meals where we make way too much food and proceed to stare guiltily at the leftovers all week as they sit in the fridge. If you know you won't eat it, send it to someone who can. This isn't available in all communities, but it's more common than you might think.

19. Join 29 Gifts - The idea is simple: Give away 29 items in 29 days and see what happens.

20. Say it on TV - For as little as $100, you can put your message on televison. Just think of what your purchased time could do for a local non-profit.

21. Share your newspapers - Many papers have programs that allow you to divert your unwanted newspapers to local schools if you've moved or gone on vacation.

extra-food-charity.jpg

22. Donate leftovers from business meetings - Anyone who's ever witnessed a typical corporate event is well aware of the waste involved in most conferences and meetings. Instead of letting it go to waste, contact a local shelter beforehand to see if they would be interested in accepting the excess. You can do the same for leftovers from personal parties and family gatherings.

23. Use your corporate matching program - Although a lot of people don't realize it, a large number of corporations will match charitable donations made by their employees. Before you donate money to a cause, check with your employer to see if they'll match it.

24. Take advantage of sales - Every now and then, you'll find a sale that's just too good to pass up. Instead of getting just enough for yourself, try getting a little extra and sending it to someone who truly needs it.

25. Try micro-financing - By gathering a large number of people who are prepared to make small loans, organizations like Kiva and GreenNote have been able to help hundreds achieve their business or educational goals. You'll also get a modest return on your investment in exchange for your faith and assistance.


Have any more ideas? Please feel free to leave them in the comments!


Looking for more ways to help? If you use any social networking services, we encourage you to submit (or Stumble, or Digg, or Buzz, etc.) this post. Remember, if more people read it, more people will be inspired and ultimately take action. Even better, promote the sites of causes you endorse. Exposure never hurts!


Stumble It!

Earlier this year, Vat19.com/blog brought you a list of Ridiculous Catalog Photos. We are back with more awful catalog photos, just in time for Valentine's Day. All we can say is that what some people think is sexy, others might find sleazy.


The Pole Dancing Kit

Pole%20dancing%20kit%202.JPG

This photo is so awful, its good. The clear stripper heels, the tattoo on the ankle, the red feather boa on the ground. Good news fellas, this stripper pole can support up to 300 pounds! Delightful.


The "Naughty Knot"

Naughty%20Knot.jpgNaught%20Knot%20lady.jpg

Impressive. She knows how to loop, swoop, and pull. Did she steal this giant bow from the Lexus Christmas commercials?


Crazy Cluck Chicken

crazy%20cluck%20chicken.jpg

You have to choke the Crazy Cluck Chicken in order to make it sing and dance. Really? Would it have been too un-perverted to simply squeeze its beak or belly?

All Hail the Rat King

| | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Looking at a typical rat up close, it's difficult to imagine how anyone could ever be frightened by one of these adorable creatures.

piano-rat.jpg

rat-wine.jpg

mighty-rat.jpg

Of course, all bets are off when it comes to rat kings. If you're not familiar with the concept, a rat king is the result of dozens of rats getting tangled together at the tail (perhaps by blood, excrement, or other debris). The specimen pictured below is a mummified rat king currently on display Altenburg, Germany at the Mauritianum.

rat-king.jpg

Fortunately (or unfortunately, if you're into creepy stuff like this), the concept of the rat king is believed to be nothing more than a hoax. There has never been a verified sighting of a real, living rat king.

If the bus is rockin'...

| | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It's officially back to school time, and all of the stores are pushing their dorm room gear. Most of the "dorm stuff" you will see is way too themed and hippie-inspired to be in the room of a college student who owns and can actually use the product below.

Sex in Progress lamp.jpg

"Turning on the red light" is literally coming to a campus near you. Can you imagine seeing this red "Sex in Progress" lamp lit up while walking down the hallway or street? I can't decide if this is promiscuously funny or tragically lame. I think I'd want to laugh, but I would have to refrain because I'll know that a major douchebag (and probably a desperate, easy freshman girl) is just behind the door.

In college, it is still funny to know (or be made to think) that people are getting it on. Freshman with their first taste of freedom, think it's super cool to be broadcast it to every passerby. With this lamp, a large crowd is practically being invited to wait for and witness "the walk of shame".

No matter how blatantly tacky the Sex in Progress lamp is, it's a modern upgrade to the scarf tied around the doorknob a la Dirty Dancing. Besides, seeing how it's the 21st century and all, most doors have locks on them, thus there's no need for the ol' scarf. Naive people might not know what a scarf around a doorknob means, but it would be pretty difficult to mistake what "Sex in Progress" means.

Who are the people buying and using this lamp? How serious is the purchaser taking it? Is it like, "Hey babe, wait a sec, I gotta turn this lamp on"? Afterwards, do you have to immediately update your status and turn off the lamp? I really wouldn't doubt it seeing how obsessed people are with constantly updating Twitter and MySpace.

Wisdom Through LOLCats and Rednecks

| | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If you've ever spent much time reading the wisdom of prominent poets, philosophers, and (dare I say it), long-dead politicians, you've probably noticed that nearly all of the great quotes were spoken or written in proper English. After spending some time online, though, I have to wonder what those quotes would have sounded like in the slang that has become common today.

Below, I've run some famous quotes through Redneck and LOLCat converters. If the meaning is unclear, scroll down to see the original quotes. Enjoy...

LOLSpeak:

If you're not familiar with LOLSpeak, it's the language you'll find all over cat pictures like the one below. These translations come courtesy of Speak LOLCat.

cat


1. I HAS NOT FAILD. I HAS JUS FINDZ 10,000 WAYS DAT WONT WERK.

2. WHETHR U FINKZ DAT U CAN, OR DAT U CANT, U R USUALLY RITE.

3. TEH THIRD-RATE MIND IZ ONLY HAPPEH WHEN IT THINKIN WIF TEH MAJORITY. TEH SECOND-RATE MIND IZ ONLY HAPPEH WHEN IT THINKIN WIF TEH MINORITY. TEH FURST-RATE MIND IZ ONLY HAPPEH WHEN IT THINKIN.

4. U HAS BE TEH CHANGE U WISH 2 C IN DA WURLD.

5. A LIL LERNIN IZ DANGEROUS TING


Redneck Speak:

redneck-wedding.JPG

These translations are brought to you from the Dialectizer.

1. Only two thin's is infinite, th' unyverse an' hoomin stoopidity, an' ah's not sho'nuff about th' fo'mer.

2. Th' richess man is not he who has the dawgoned-est, but he who needs th' least.

3. Th' third-rate mind is only happy when it is reckonin' wif th' majo'ity. Th' second-rate mind is only happy when it is reckonin' wif th' mino'ity. Th' fust-rate mind is only happy when it is reckonin'.

4. Try a thin' yo' haven't done three times. Once, t'git on over th' fear of doin' it. Twice, t'larn how t'do it. An' a third time, t'figger out whether yo' like it o' not.

5. Menny wealthy varmints is li'l mo'e than janito's of their postesshuns.


The Original Quotes:

LOLSpeak:

1. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." --Thomas Alva Edison

2. "Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right." --Henry Ford

3. "The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking." --A. A. Milne

4. "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." --Gandhi

5. "A little learning is a dangerous thing." Alexander Pope

Redneck Speak:

1. "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein

2. "The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least." --Unknown Author

3. "The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking." --A. A. Milne (this was just too funny not to include in both sets of translations).

4. "Try a thing you haven't done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time, to figure out whether you like it or not." --Virgil Garnett Thomson

5. "Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions." --Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

Cartoon Character Clothing

| | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

What makes it OK for some cartoon characters to be naked and not others? How come some animals don't have to wear pants but others do?

Clearly, cartoons aren't held to the same dressing standards as humans. That's fine, but I am curious about how a decision is made about which articles of clothing a character will and will not wear.


Mickey Minnie Donald Daisy.JPG


Both Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck have a significant piece of an outfit missing. Mickey Mouse wears shorts and gloves. He doesn't wear a shirt, but he's a guy so it's no big deal. However, Donald Duck wears a shirt and hat, but he doesn't wear any pants. Are mouse "parts" more vulgar than a duck's or something? It can't be based on sex because Daisy Duck also only wears a shirt and Minne Mouse wears a dress. Is it because duck butts are kind of cute and the animators wanted to show them off?

It can't be based on what type of animal the character is because Goofy is some sort of dog, and he wears a complete outfit, including a vest and hat. You can look to the Winnie the Pooh characters for more examples. Winnie the Pooh wears a little baby tee and Piglet wears a striped bodysuit, but Rabbit, Tigger, and Eeyore are naked.


Kanga and Roo stuffed.JPG


Whether to be a naked cartoon or not isn't based on age either. Kanga (the mama kangaroo) doesn't wear any clothes. Roo (the little boy kangaroo) wears a shirt. You wouldn't want to cover up a kangaroo's pouch, but why give the little boy a shirt and not the adult mom? How backwards!


Chipmunk VHSs.JPG


Even within the same type of animal, there are differences. Chip 'N Dale are totally naked, whereas Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are totally covered with long sleeve boy-dresses. Are Chip 'N Dale naked because their names can also refer to male strippers? There is a Chip 'N Dale movie where they are dressed in tuxedos like Chippendales. I haven't seen this movie, but maybe, just maybe, they are wearing clothing for once just so they can take it off. Oh Disney, you just might be the pervert people think you are.

There's tons of videos on YouTube about hidden messages in animated Disney movies, but here's a very short one that includes some of the most commonly talked about instances. If you prefer a video with actual movie clips and like "E-pro" by Beck, watch this one.


About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from August 2008 listed from newest to oldest.

July 2008 is the previous archive.

September 2008 is the next archive.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.