Results tagged “advertising” from The official blog of Vat19.com

Commercials. Ugh! We try so hard to avoid them. But sometimes, you just can't. Some get so drilled into your brain, you can't think of a product without singing its jingle or blurting out its catch phrase. Or sometimes you start using the phrase as part of everyday life with no association with the product, "I'm loving it" (No? Maybe it's just me). Even if you're not buying the product, they've got you hooked on something.

See if you can name the product that goes with the following slogans. If you get stumped, click on the video below it to reveal the answer and to watch the awesomely dated commercial.

1. "You've got the right one, baby. Uh-Huh!"

2. "Roll that beautiful bean footage."


Okay, that one might have been a little easy. But I just had to pay tribute to the cute/creepy talking dog.

3. "Where's the beef?"

Double feature!

4. "Don't leave home without it."

Bonus: It's got a nice Halloween feel to it!

5. "Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't."

My favorite is the guy in the principle's office.

6. "Have it your way."

Umm, check out the lady's face when the painter tells her she'll get used to it.

The list could go on. Got a good one? Leave a comment and tell us about it.

I will openly admit that I have a really nice bike that has been sitting in my garage since Christmas 2006. It's been up and down my street once. Unfortunately, I don't get that many opportunities to ride my bike (I also use too hot or too cold weather as an excuse!) and I definitely cannot bike to work.

But if I could bike to work and it happened to be raining that day, I would not throw on the Hands Free Cockpit Umbrella and get pedaling. Either all of me is getting soaked or none of me is getting soaked.

Is someone seriously paying $60 for this thing? If you or someone you know has wasted money on this product, please leave a comment and explain why.

It is keeping your hair, head, and shoulders dry, but what about the rest of your body? You can't show up to work soaking wet. Well, unless you are a lifeguard. And seeing how most suits are dry clean only, this thing should be covering the entire bike and also have something to prevent gross rainwater from splashing up from the ground.

If they had an athlete modeling this product, I could tolerate it a tiny bit more. Who cares if spandex gets wet? But a suit is absurd. This is just another example of a horrible catalog photo.

Why only show a cyclist? Why not a pedestrian walking? Or someone at a bus stop? A skateboarder? Why only sport this catastrophe while on a bike?

Why are only the back panels black? Why aren't all of them clear? Or why couldn't they have them be white so they blend in a little better? Or since the wearer is already looking like a total douchebag idiot, why not offer them in crazy patterns and colors? Apparently these black panels are made of breathable fabric. You can't have humidity in there fogging up your view!

Here's an interesting feature: a "rubber grip pops open the cockpit at the push of a button". Uh, can we say "Go Go Gadget Hands Free Cockpit Umbrella!" Ooooo, and it comes with a carrying case! While waiting for it to dry off do people carry this thing around all proud like some bikers do with their helmets?

Maybe they'll come out with a hard, durable version for motorcyclists in time for Christmas. I'm sure bikers would love to wear this. I think I would pay money to see a group of Harley riders all wearing the Hands Free Cockpit Umbrella.

So one night I'm sitting on the couch watching TV and I see a commercial for the Ped Egg. I'd never heard of it and it looked like a cheap piece of plastic junk, so I continued watching to see what this thing was about. Most infomercials are good for a laugh. Not with the Ped Egg; this is no laughing matter.

The Ped Egg is pretty much an egg-shaped cheese grater for the bottom of your feet. It scrapes off all of the dry skin and wears down calluses. The foot shavings are collected inside of the Ped Egg. The commercial shows people rubbing it back and forth across the bottoms of their nasty feet. This is undeniably gross.

But the Peg Egg commercial does not stop there. Then, without warning, the Peg Egg is opened up and a mound of nasty foot dust shavings is dumped into a trashcan. Sick. The quantity of foot dust is atrocious. It will make you want to throw up. I've watched it several times and I still get the chills.

Go ahead and watch the video clip from the Home Shopping Network. (The Ped Egg people have taken down the actual commercial from You Tube.) Let's see if you are as appalled as I was.

How is it physically possible to shave off that much crap from the bottom of just two feet? Who has feet that are this disgusting? Is there a point at which you have to quit the scraping or else your feet will bleed? Will I ever be able to look at white sandy beaches the same? Do pranksters who have cokehead friends switch out baggies of cocaine with the foot shavings from a Ped Egg?

Several people have posted positive reviews about the Ped Egg on their blogs. So, if you or a loved one has janky feet, go ahead and order a Ped Egg or two. Maybe you could see how much foot dust you can accumulate in one foot shaving session and get yourself an entry in the Guinness Book of World Records.

Catalogs are not cheap to make and distribute, so one would think that only the very best products and photos would make it into a catalog. Apparently, this is not always true. Trees were killed so that households could be exposed to these photos.

The Mitten Blanket

This is such a stupid photo. I would love to watch this lady try to turn the pages of her book while wearing this thing. They could have shown her using a TV remote, snuggling, or just doing nothing. But no, they had to show her doing an activity that is not very easy to do with mittens on. Why not show her typing on her laptop?

The Double Spoon Rest

OK, this product is actually useful, but the design is a little bit...vulgar.

Cubs Win Poster

What a pointless item to buy. Sure, the Cubs may win regular-season games and even some post-season games, but when do they ever win anything significant enough to deserve a commemorative poster? Certainly not since 1908. Ha.

Portable Sauna (creepy guy attempting to be seductive not included)

What nasty little line is about to come out of Sir Sauna's mouth? Why was he told to pose with his grinning face leaning on his arm like that? Does the lady have an icy cocktail that she is delivering to the guy sitting in a hot sauna?

Consumers today are bombarded nonstop with advertisements, so I fully understand that companies have to step outside of the box to grab attention. But there is a line where you cross from creative into ridiculous. Some companies do things just for the shock value. Two companies have succeeded in shocking me with their pizza "extras".

Call up Domino's in France and order yourself (and your special someone) the "Night Box". You'll get a pizza, a CD, a poster, a t-shirt, and a condom. Yes, a condom. Nothing says "romantic night in" like a greasy pizza, a horrible mixed CD, and a questionable condom. Late night thrusting is always better with a belly full of melted cheese.

I have so many issues with this. Is hot steam the best thing for thin rubber to be around? Domino's might soon be responsible for many unwanted babies in France. It's totally awkward that some teenager is hand-delivering sex supplies and food to your door. What does a CD, poster, or t-shirt have to do with anything? Why would someone want to get all this crap from Domino's?

This gimmick is an invitation for problems. It will only be a matter of time before some perve orders this Night Box and then rapes the delivery kid and as his defense claims that it was consensual because the delivery boy/girl showed up with a condom, which in some way is twisted into showing intent. On the other hand, all the delivery people will know where all the weirdos live who actually ordered this box of fun. These customers might end up with some horny pizza-delivering stalkers. The people who are allergic to latex will start whining. Is there a choice of condom material, color, and size? Can you imagine what the religious folks have to say about this?

Domino's isn't the only company to associate cheap sex with pizza. In Canada, you can order a pizza from Porno Pizza and a pornographic image is unveiled as you eat the pizza. Really? Is that what turns lonely people on? I guess getting a magazine or a DVD requires too much effort if you can just call 777-PORN and get porn on your pizza box delivered right to your door. You do have to show an ID before they'll give you the pizza. And good luck trying to be discrete. They have illuminated signs on the delivery cars. These signs would fit right in on the strip in Vegas.

The text on Porno Pizza's website is awful. I've never heard breadsticks described as "hot, throbbing" before. You have to check out the combo pizza names at Porno Pizza. I think a high schooler came up with these names. Should you order the "Mr. Big" or the "Fuzzy Taco". Tough choice.

If a condom or porn can come with pizza, there's no telling what might soon accompany other deliveries. Blow up dolls delivered with dry cleaning? Packets of cocaine delivered with the mail? Sex toys delivered with Chinese food? Bongs delivered with flower bouquets?

Newsflash: text messaging is NOT new. Lately, there has been an explosion of text messaging in advertisements making it seem like text messaging is this crazy new fangled method of communication. Have these businesses been living in a hole for almost ten years?

If you are old, Amish, or have been hiding out in a cave and are unfamiliar with text messaging, pick up a copy of this waste of paper. You've got opposable thumbs, so you might as well use them more often.

Take a few seconds to endure this Cingular commercial. I guess I didn't get the memo that it's the new thing to only speak the first letter of each word to communicate. I'm cool with abbreviations and some acronyms, but this is just an absurdly stupid attempt at being funny. Also, why does a 10 year-old have unsupervised cell phone access?

As I am typing this post there is a Chevy Aveo commercial on the radio talking in an exaggerated form of instant messaging and text messaging. Definitely not amusing. No even halfway normal human talks anything like this. The dialog is similar to that of the Cingular commercial, but even worse because there aren't any subtitles. I have no idea what information I was being told. That's advertising money well spent.