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I typically hate cutesy pet products. However, there would be something funny about seeing a hamster cruising along in one of these. If you claim that you put your pet hamster in one of these so that it gets exercise, you are a liar. You are doing it for your own amusement!
Don't worry, you don't have to get a pink one. There are 4 different colors available.
Hmm, what is Pope Benedict saying no to? Sex or condoms? I'm going to guess both. At Vat19, we don't get into political or religious rants, but I couldn't resist posting these with the controversy earlier this year over the Pope saying that condom distribution in Africa would increase the spread of AIDS instead of preventing it.
That's all I'm going to say about the matter. If you think it is ridiculous, you might get a kick out of this video.
Celebrities that have fallen off the A-list often end up hosting game shows or reality shows just to stay in "the business" and get a paycheck. I suppose there is a slight chance that they are merely fulfilling their lifelong dream of hosting a game show, but I doubt that is typically the case. I love Family Feud, but I don't really want to see J. Peterman or Al Borland doing the hosting. I'd rather see Seinfeld and Home Improvement back on the air! (Side note: Did J.T.T. fall off the face of the earth?)
Game shows are crazier and crappier than ever. If you watched even just 10 seconds of Hole in the Wall, you know what I'm talking about. Each TV season brings a new batch of terrible game shows. Here are some shows that might be in-the-works when these celebrities fall off the A-list. I don't know that Angelina Jolie will ever drop off the A-list, I hope and pray that Paris Hilton does soon, and Dick Cheney was barely on the political A-list as Vice President, so he's definitely well on his way to the D-list.
Angelina Jolie, host of Spin The Bottle: Family Edition
You don't have any friends to sit in your circle? No problem, just gather 'round your siblings.
Paris Hilton, host of Hot Potato
Of course, one of the rules is that you have to say "That's hot" when you get the potato passed to you.
Dick Cheney, host of Duck, Duck, Goose
Just to keep the show fresh and exciting, sometimes he'll yell "Quail!" and shoot a shotgun without looking.
Live television can be risky. Some newscasters are able to remain calm, cool, and collected after a mishap and others can't seem to keep it together. There are tons of blooper videos, but today I'm focusing on falls. People stumble over words all the time, but it's not every day that you see an on-air fall!
It can also suck even if you aren't the one who had the blooper because you can't laugh or freak out. I don't know how the cameramen and other newscasters keep a straight face. I'm definitely not fit for live TV!
If you missed the videos of kids getting hit in the head with balls, you should check that out for more laughs.
Reporter Falls Off Skateboard
Honestly, why would you try to skateboard on live TV without any skating experience? She totally asked for it. TJ doesn't even try to catch her or help her up!
Reporter Gets Hit by Sled
This flip is almost too perfect. Why didn't someone from the entire crew suggest moving further away from the sledders? Look at how far his "trusty stopwatch" flies. Yes, that was a bad idea, sir.
Reporter Falls Down a Snowy Hill
I can't believe the cameraman doesn't have any reaction. He doesn't even cut away or yell to see if the guy is OK. The camera seems to jiggle a little, so I think the cameraman is quietly laughing.
There's something inherently funny about people (yes, even kids) getting hit in the head with balls. It seems to be funnier if the ball is big and the kid is small. It isn't funny if it is on purpose or if serious injury results. If it is an accident and nothing too awful happens, then it is hilarious.
Why hasn't America's Funniest Home Videos dedicated an entire show to this!?
This one is so funny. The little girl is running along and then, WHAM, down she goes.
The likelihood of this ever happening again and also being caught on tape is so rare, making this one of the greatest hit-in-the-head videos ever. It's great how you see him start running at the beginning. He slides pretty far after going down.
The force of the giant ball makes this little girl do a faceplant into the grass. Listen to all of the adults laugh it up while she's crying. It is so difficult not to laugh at this stuff!
A montage of people getting hit in the head!
"Hate" might be a bit too harsh, but there are people in the world that we all dislike and find aggravating. I don't care how nice you are, how nice others think you are, or how nice you actually are. Chances are that no matter how saintly you are there is a type of person listed below that really gets your blood boiling.
People who write checks to pay for stuff at the store in the year 2008. Getting stuck in line behind someone paying with a check is annoying. It takes too much of the cashier's time and my time. Balancing your checkbook before tearing it out or moving along is grounds for me wishing not so nice things upon you. Please go get a debit or credit card ASAP.
Parking space stalkers. I don't like being followed to my car just because someone is too lazy to park 10 spaces further away. By time you impatiently wait for me to back out you could have already been inside the building.
Waiters who take 10 minutes to read the daily specials. I've been told that I have the palate of a 7-year-old, so I am not the person who is going to order some odd concoction. It shouldn't take 3 full minutes to describe the chicken. The worst part is listening to the fluffy descriptions about the carefully selected wine pairings from someone who you know doesn't really know what he is talking about.
Concertgoers who sing along too loudly. Whether you know the lyrics or not is a non issue. Whether you sound decent or not is also a non issue. I paid money to hear Sigur Rós, not some douchebag who is scream-singing along to a language he doesn't even know. Don't even try to pretend that you speak Icelandic.
Telemarketers. This one had to be on the list. I'm sorry if your career consists of getting hung up on a thousand times a day. Your job sucks so bad that other jobs were created to block you from doing your job. Don't waste my time trying to sell me something over the phone. I have never purchased something unsolicited over the phone and that will never change. And don't give me a generic American name when we both know it isn't your real name. I could care less what your name is, so just say the truth. Below is a video of a prank pulled on a telemarketer.
Slow walkers. I don't know about you, buy usually when I am walking somewhere it is because I'm trying to get somewhere. I'm all for taking leisurely walks but not in the middle of a crowded sidewalk in Chicago or in the mall. Go find yourself a park. And make sure your slow feet stay out of the bicycle lanes.
The driver with the blinker on. When I get stuck behind a car with the blinker left on, it drives me nuts. I have zero tolerance for this. It's practically all I can focus on, which isn't good for anybody. How do you not see the arrow blinking or hear it clicking? I can't hold up a sign or yell out my window. That could get me assaulted. I have no choice but to wait for that idiot to realize it is still on and turn it off.
Airplane passengers with stinky food. When you are on an airplane you are already uncomfortably close to a bunch of strangers. Why would you bring on some horrendously smelly food when in such close quarters with limited air flow? Ignorant.
I'm sure there are plenty more people that we all could do without. I could probably write about this for an entire day, but alas, I have work to do! Leave a comment about the type of person that drives you crazy. You can do it anonymously so you don't have to ruin your "such a nice person" reputation.
When I first saw this teddy bear holding a puffy red heart that reads "SHIT BITCH YOU IS FINE" I thought it was a joke. Then I found out you can actually purchase one for only $12.99 and you can choose between white or brown. This is good news because I hate when you find a product that isn't available for sale. No one likes a tease.
It might not read the standard "I Love You" or "Be Mine", but a compliment is a compliment no matter how ghetto it sounds or how poor the grammar.
The website says "Give One and Get Some". If you don't believe it, check out the pie chart (the results are undoubtedly from authentic scientific research) showing how much more action you'll get if you give the SHIT BITCH YOU IS FINE bear instead of a typical, boring Valentine's Day gift. Really, this bear could be given year-round. Why wait until February 14 to give this gem to the fine bitch in your life?
Check out the website and read the hilariousness that is written about the Shit Bitch Bear. If you think this bear is offensive or rude, then chances are you aren't going to laugh at the sales pitch either. In that case, maybe you should stick with the cutesy standard "I Love You" bear.
It's officially back to school time, and all of the stores are pushing their dorm room gear. Most of the "dorm stuff" you will see is way too themed and hippie-inspired to be in the room of a college student who owns and can actually use the product below.
"Turning on the red light" is literally coming to a campus near you. Can you imagine seeing this red "Sex in Progress" lamp lit up while walking down the hallway or street? I can't decide if this is promiscuously funny or tragically lame. I think I'd want to laugh, but I would have to refrain because I'll know that a major douchebag (and probably a desperate, easy freshman girl) is just behind the door.
In college, it is still funny to know (or be made to think) that people are getting it on. Freshman with their first taste of freedom, think it's super cool to be broadcast it to every passerby. With this lamp, a large crowd is practically being invited to wait for and witness "the walk of shame".
No matter how blatantly tacky the Sex in Progress lamp is, it's a modern upgrade to the scarf tied around the doorknob a la Dirty Dancing. Besides, seeing how it's the 21st century and all, most doors have locks on them, thus there's no need for the ol' scarf. Naive people might not know what a scarf around a doorknob means, but it would be pretty difficult to mistake what "Sex in Progress" means.
Who are the people buying and using this lamp? How serious is the purchaser taking it? Is it like, "Hey babe, wait a sec, I gotta turn this lamp on"? Afterwards, do you have to immediately update your status and turn off the lamp? I really wouldn't doubt it seeing how obsessed people are with constantly updating Twitter and MySpace.
What is Liquid ASS? According to their website, it is a "power-packed, super-concentrated liquid [that] begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt-crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo." By the way, I'm not capitalizing the ASS for no reason; that's how they do it.
When I first saw Liquid ASS, I didn't think people were actually buying this and that if they were that they'd be high school kids spraying the stuff in class.
I was totally wrong. There are a few videos posted on their website, and all of them are from adults. As immature and gross as it is, it would be really funny to spray this stuff and watch people have disgusted reactions.
I've never smelled it, but apparently it is incredibly gross. Even though I know it will make me gag, I want to smell it to see just how bad it is.
Here's a video from a guy who gets a bunch of Liquid ASS and sprays it around the bathroom at his office. Two of his co-workers end up gagging over a toilet because it smells so awful! I think it'd be funnier if he would just let people discover the stench on their own rather than prompting them, but it's still kind of funny.
If you want more where that came from, check out his YouTube channel. I don't even think this guy works for or sells Liquid ASS, and yet he spends all of this time video taping his Liquid ASS pranks! That's quite a devoted customer.
The guys at Liquid ASSets Novelties will send you 25 free bottles of this stuff if you send them a video and they post it. Seeing how Vat19 has awesome video skills, I'm pretty sure we could earn the free bottles. However, with all of the new product videos we've been adding I don't think we have time for prank videos. Boo hoo.
Apparently, researchers on Antarctica have protected sex about every 3 days.
Well, the article didn't exactly say that, but it did say that 16,500 condoms were delivered as a year's supply for the 125 scientists.
Oh yes, I did the math:
The condoms are available at no charge. That's a nice yearly savings, but I don't know if that is enough compensation for having to spend an entire freezing winter in constant darkness being stuck with the same group of people.
Actually, since both partners would be from the group of 125 people, it could be more often since they'd each have 132 condoms for the year. With 264 condoms per year, we're looking at almost every day. After all, there is a lack of outdoor activities and sunlight. They have to find someone something to do!
Few people will have the opportunity to have sex in Antarctica, and even fewer will have a chance to have sex in outer space. NASA definitely doesn't kiss-and-tell; they won't say whether this has or has not happened.
There's been speculation for decades about astronauts having sex while on missions. Thanks to Space Weddings, it could be a confirmed occurrence as soon as 2011. For $2.3 million, couples can get married in outer space. If it's your wedding night, it's part of your honeymoon, and you're spending that kind of money, I think there is a good chance a couple would go for it.
You have about 3 years to wait for a sex in outer space update...unless an astronaut sex tape gets leaked.
Given the fact that itâs pretty much impossible to punch someone in the face over the internet, itâs not at all surprising that some of the worldâs most popular websites are incredibly mean-spirited. Below, weâve compiled a list of some of the worst.
The Cameltoe Report - Unfortunately, this one has been re-designed and it's now a much less cheesy free membership site. You can still see images like the ones below, but you'll have to sign up.
Tard Blog - Self explanatory. This oneâs written by a special education teacher.
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