Results tagged “rant” from The official blog of Vat19.com

About a month ago, Vat19 released a completely revamped version of its award-winning driver's education program on DVD, Rules of the Road. Needless to say, safe driving is a popular and respected subject around here.

When I saw the Road Rage Cards, I couldn't believe that people actually thought these were a good or humorous idea. Although their legal disclaimer says they aren't intended to be used in cars and are only for entertainment purposes, I have to think they know people are going to use these signs in a car. There's an image on the homepage showing a driver holding up one of the cards! If not, then why even buy them at all? Putting these up in your office isn't entertaining and just doesn't make any sense.

Even if the phrases were clever or funny, these would still be a terrible idea. Holding up a sign of any kind at a driver is weird and probably going to piss that other driver off. Holding up one of these rude cards to express your road rage is practically guaranteed to spark even more road rage in another driver, especially the ones with cursing or a picture of a gun.

There are 43 different phrases written on cards that let you express your road rage in writing. Examples of the clean ones include "Why are you tapping your breaks, freak?", "Blinker?", and "Slower Traffic Keep Right". I bet we've all thought these things silently in our heads or maybe even said them out loud. Holding up a pre-printed sign is way too much. How stupid do you look if you are driving around just waiting for another driver to make you mad so you can hold up your snarky sign?

Each phrase also comes reverse type-written so the car in front of you can read it when looking back at you in their rear view mirror. You thought that was only for ambulances and emergency vehicles? Wrong, now it is available to every raging idiot on the road.

I think these things were invented in 2004, but there is one with a cell phone picture that looks like a circa 1999 Nokia phone that everyone and their brother had. It's absurd that there is a sign with a picture of a cellphone followed by "= Lousy Driver". Instead of reaching over to grab your set of signs, flipping through to find the appropriate phrase, and positioning the sign so the other driver can read it, just concentrate on driving your car properly. Oh sure, the person busy messing with signs isn't a lousy driver, right?

Sure, I might be an occasional blogging rant-aholic, but I'm no promoter of blatant and premeditated road rage.

It seems so simple: buy ticket, sit down, watch movie. Wrong, wrong, wrong. There are many things that can ruin a trip to the movie theater.

Let me begin my list of movie theater grievances with a true story.

When Jarhead came out, I saw it on a megascreen and it was packed. It wasn't possible to leave an empty seat between the people you weren't with. So, some guy was sitting to my left and my boyfriend was to my right. During a silent part of the action movie, he slurps on his empty soda and begins choking because he's attempting to suck up nothing. How can he not know the liquid level? If you are sucking and you aren't getting anything, why would you continue to suck harder? Why would you wait until one of the few quiet parts in a movie full of loud explosions to do this? Serves him right. I tried like hell to hold in my laughter, but couldn't take it anymore. So I'm sitting there laughing at a choking man during a war movie. It became one of those situations where the more you try to stop laughing the more you laugh. Then my boyfriend starts to laugh because he also heard all of this. I'm sure everyone around hated us, but in all fairness, it wasn't our fault.

What is the lesson? Do not attempt to suck up anything through a straw if there isn't any liquid left in the cup. You will probably choke and make yourself look like an idiot. Follow this rule no matter where you are.

10 other things that are annoying at the movie theater:

1. Loud snackers - Stop trying to quietly open your Twizzlers by doing it slowly. You are only making your noise last longer. Give it one quick pull open and be done with it.

2. Cell phone users - This one is obvious, but without fail there is always that one rude person who leaves their phone on. Get over yourself. The world can handle not talking to you for 90 minutes.

3. Kickers - Do not kick the back of my chair. There is no reason for your feet to be out of control while sitting in a movie.

4. Armrest bandits - Don't try to steal my armrest if I was using it first. Finders keepers. And no, we cannot share it. I'm not into rubbing elbows with strangers.

Photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/voteprime/ and http://www.flickr.com/photos/thevoicewithin/

Have you ever walked into a store and noticed a sign that says "No Heelys"? The fact that stores even have to put up signs for this is ridiculous. Kids need to stop shoe-skating around in public places where it isn't appropriate because it is really annoying for everyone else.

I've seen kids slam into racks of clothing, fall because they don't know how to use their "cool" shoes, and run into other shoppers or pedestrians. I'm cool with kids having and using Heelys, but their parents need to teach them when they can and cannot use them. If they can't follow those rules, then bye-bye Heelys. Furthermore, kids that are so immature that they are "skating" around the mall shouldn't be unattended at the mall to begin with.

The other day I saw a sign next to an escalator warning people to use caution when wearing Crocs sandals. Are you joking? How many feet have been mutilated by an escalator to warrant a sign like this? How stupid are people? The fact that this particular brand and style of shoe was singled out is pretty crazy. Then again, the amount of kids (ugh, and adults) that I've seen wearing Crocs is huge so it's no wonder something stupid happened to someone.

What makes parents think that a chunk of whole-punched plastic is appropriate daily footwear for a child? Kids are always running around and climbing, and I wouldn't think these are the safest choice. Playing at the beach or a place where you'll want to hose them off - fine. Running around - you're asking for a fall and a possible injury. Those things don't even stay on feet securely, they start to smell despite the ventilation, and they are clunky and pretty ugly.

Crocs are everywhere. They are even sold in Hallmark stores. Why does a card/stationary/gift store sell shoes?

I know kids like things that are colorful, but I'm getting sick of seeing all those little charms that fit in the holes of the Crocs. But, I'll give that a break since I'm from the generation that drilled holes in dice to put them on the strings of our Adidas jackets.

Adults who wear Crocs is a whole other issue. Unless you have a job where your shoes are likely to get gross and need to be washed frequently, then you probably shouldn't be wearing bright, plastic clogs. I just don't get the fascination with them. What's wrong with a pair of flip flops? Are they worried they'll stub a toe? Are these things that comfortable that they'll disregard the hideous style?

Judging by the assortment of dog turds that are gracing my sidewalk and front yard, you'd think I have a little dog and a big dog. But I have no dogs.

I live in a nice neighborhood with seemingly civilized inhabitants, yet some of these pet owners act like lazy, disgusting hoosiers. You're the one that got yourself a dog, so pick up after it! Or, better yet, how about you keep your dog out of my yard so that the pooping never happens there.

If your dog poops in your yard and you want to leave it there, fine. Gross, but fine. My yard is a different story.

It is beyond rude to leave your dog's poop in someone else's yard. I want to be able to walk through my grass without having to dodge turds. Should I end up stepping in one and I know which dog it came from, you should expect to find my poopy footprints on your front door.

Spandex should be banned.
Why? Why do people wear spandex? Male or female, it is not attractive. No one wants to see everything you've got (or don't). Do people not realize that spandex is distracting in a bad way? No one's looking at the faces in this picture. Nasty.

But, oh, oh those summer nights...
Attention karaoke singers: stop singing songs from Grease. It is highly annoying and unoriginal. Summer Nights is a really lame song anyways. Bury it.

Wear your dog like a fanny pack!
There are tons of products for sale that are not useful for me personally. But, those products might be useful for someone. People in the world are actually buying this harness-like contraption that carries a dog. Do dogs not like to actually walk when they go outside for a walk?

"We'll hang out at the coolest bars"
I cannot stand Nickelback. The lyrics, the sound, the looks, and the repetitious radio play drive me crazy. How did they convince all of those celebrities to be part of the video for Rockstar? Anyone else sick of the long-haired Jesus look?

Newsflash: text messaging is NOT new. Lately, there has been an explosion of text messaging in advertisements making it seem like text messaging is this crazy new fangled method of communication. Have these businesses been living in a hole for almost ten years?

If you are old, Amish, or have been hiding out in a cave and are unfamiliar with text messaging, pick up a copy of this waste of paper. You've got opposable thumbs, so you might as well use them more often.

Take a few seconds to endure this Cingular commercial. I guess I didn't get the memo that it's the new thing to only speak the first letter of each word to communicate. I'm cool with abbreviations and some acronyms, but this is just an absurdly stupid attempt at being funny. Also, why does a 10 year-old have unsupervised cell phone access?

As I am typing this post there is a Chevy Aveo commercial on the radio talking in an exaggerated form of instant messaging and text messaging. Definitely not amusing. No even halfway normal human talks anything like this. The dialog is similar to that of the Cingular commercial, but even worse because there aren't any subtitles. I have no idea what information I was being told. That's advertising money well spent.