Q: Will this fit inside my goat fur thong?
A: Unfortunately, that's a question we can't answer with any degree of certainty. It will depend on the size of the garment in question, the stretch of the fabric, and the number of additional items stored along with the Banana Bunker. We suggest that you ask yourself this - would a large banana fit? What about a plantain? If so, the Banana Bunker should fit just fine. If not, we suggest you pick up a Recycled Sailcloth Bag instead.

Q: Would it make a good gift for my girlfriend's mother during the holidays?
A: Absolutely. Since the Banana Bunker makes it easier to eat bananas on the go, and bananas are great sources of potassium and fiber, we're certain that your gift would be interpreted as a gesture of loving concern for her blood pressure, heart function, and digestive regularity.

Q: Can I still use the banana bunker even if I'm regularly taking Cialis?
A: So long as you're using the Banana Bunker in the manner we've shown, your prescriptions should have no bearing on its effectiveness. Anyone who enjoys bananas should enjoy them with the protection of the Banana Bunker.

Q: I see that the bunker works with Chaquita brand bananas. Will it also fit Gorilla's Choice brand?
A: While we weren't aware that Gorilla's Choice bananas existed outside the fictional world of The Simpsons, we think that the Banana Bunker would do an excellent job of serving and protecting Chief Wiggum's bananas.

Q: Should I wash the banana bunker after each use?
A: It depends upon how clean you like to keep your fruit. If you don't wash your bananas on a regular basis, there is no need to wash your banana bunker on a regular basis. Bananas are, let's remember, a peeled fruit.

Q: I don't really like bananas. Will this work with apples?
A: No.

Q: Will this be available in various colors or flavors?
A: At this time, there are no plans to carry any Banana Bunkers outside of what we have right now: Color - clear, flavor - plastic.

Q: Since the Banana Bunker can be mistaken as something else, does it come packaged describing it's intended use?
A: The plastic casing of the Banana Bunker has the words "Banana Bunker" written on it.

Q: Would this help to improve the size of my banana?
A: No. The Banana Bunker can only help you protect what you already have.

Q: Can it be used for sexual pleasure?
A: You could probably use a fax machine for sexual pleasure if you put your mind to it, so we don't doubt that you could do it with the Banana Bunker. We don't recommend it, though.

Q: can this banana bunker prevent nasty banana diseases from being transmitted?
A: The only real protection from nasty banana diseases is to abstain from contact with bananas.

Q: Is lubrication recommended for really large bananas?
A: If you have to lubricate your banana to get it into the Banana Bunker, you're probably going to have a tough time eating it without it getting away from you. The Banana Bunker is quite accommodating, and we recommend that you just stick to bananas that fit in your bunker (which is most all bananas).

Q: You ever get sick of answering these non-related questions to your product?
A: Of course not. If we didn't have our wonderful customers and all their silly questions, we'd have nothing to do but real work.

Q: Is there a smaller size for those of us without larger bananas?
A: No, but if your tiny banana is getting banged around in the Banana Bunker, you might try stuffing it with something soft to minimize the movement.

Q: How hard is it, on a scale of 1, where it is as soft as grass, to 10, to, let's say, titanium?
A: We would give the Banana Bunker a 6; harder than flaccid but softer than blue steel.

Q: what if my bananas are claustrophobic?
A: Eat them and get new bananas.

Q: Should I see a doctor if my banana remains for more than 4 hours in the Banana Bunker?
A: No. This is perfectly normal and desirable. If you leave it in the Banana Bunker for more than 4 weeks, however, you should see your garbageman.

Q: Quite an amazing and useful invention I must say, but, are you going to make more for different kinds of fruits/vegetables? I learned it is good to eat a great variety in my spanish class.
A: At this time, there are no plans to make or carry similar products for any other fruits. What can we say? Bananas have a very special place in our hearts.

Q: Will the banana bunker protect my banana from hungry, thieving chimps? I hate those greedy monkeys!
A: It's not 100% foolproof (and really, what protection is?), but it should definitely confuse them!

Q: Wow, the Banana Bunker ranks somewhere between great inventions like the mechanical clock and modern plumbing. Is it true that the estates of DaVinci and Edison are fighting over the patent?
A: Hey now, only Vat19 staff is allowed to be sarcastic.

Q: Its comes in other colors?
A: We only carry clear Banana Bunkers.

Q: Does the Banana Bunker ever go soft?
A: No, just the bananas inside of it.

Q: can you throw it at someone?
A: I don't know, can you?

Q: what should i do if my banana begins to swell up and change colors?
A: Are you sure we're talking about the same fruit here? We've never seen a banana swell up...but the color-changing bit doesn't sound good. We'd throw that one out.

Q: can it handle a very big banana?
A: Yes. We've yet to meet a banana the Banana Bunker couldn't accommodate.