Pump-a-Dump: Military-grade Putricant


Military-grade putricant will clear any room.

This item has been discontinued.

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This item has been replaced by Liquid Ass.

For amazing pranks, grab a bottle of military-grade Pump-a-Dump.

Each pump aerosol unit emits a spray featuring the stench of the most horrifying and dreadful human waste imaginable. A meager whiff is powerful enough to stop you dead in your tracks.

Originally developed for the CIA, Pump-a-Dump smells so horrific it's hard to believe it's non-toxic. Made in the USA.

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Features & specs

  • Contains 1 oz (30mL)
  • Military-grade
  • Horrific smell
  • Worse than you can imagine
  • Non-toxic
  • Made in the USA

The vile stench of human waste material... in pump form!

Get your prank on with Pump-a-Dump. This pump aerosol emits a mist featuring the most concentrated form of disgusting, repulsive, and downright sickening stench your nose has ever laid nostril upon.

Yes, it's really that bad. Please note that P-A-D doesn't just smell "bad". Rather, it faithfully captures the aroma of the most deplorable human excrement. Yay for accuracy!

Pump-a-Dump smells like the inside of a well-used septic tank.
The essence of human foulness has been bottled for your pranking pleasure.

Clears the room almost immediately

Because it's so powerful, Pump-a-Dump must be used with discretion. It can take up to thirty minutes for the smell to dissipate (depending on the size of the room).

Obviously, when used for pranking purposes, we recommend using it in a small room with poor ventilation. Nasty!

Pump-a-Dump renders a room unusable for up to 30 minutes.
Each spritz of Pump-a-Dump should be a calculated and thoughtful action.

Initially developed for the CIA

The manufacturer of Pump-a-Dump originally crafted the formula under contract from the CIA. Apparently, making things smell like pure evil is of operational importance.

Regardless of its original application, pranksters are sure to benefit as P-A-D is now available for consumer use.

Pump-a-Dump is an amazing smell prank.
Originally, the Pump-a-Dump formula was created at the behest of the CIA for their unique operational needs.

Frequently Asked Questions

Question: Seriously, how bad does it smell?

Answer: Like someone pooped directly into your nose... and they were suffering from diarrhea.

Question: Will it make you sick?

Answer: If your target has an exceptionally weak stomach, we suppose it's possible. The most common reaction, however, is, "O-M-Geezy, I think I just stepped inside someone's bowels. I need to run away from this location as fast as humanly possible.*"

*Frankly, it's usually just an expletive-filled rant. We've "translated" the cursing for a more family-friendly website.

Question: What are the best ways to prank someone with it?

Answer: Simply having your mark experience Pump-a-Dump is worth the cost of admission. The tighter the space, the lower the ventilation, and the more P-A-D used, the better the reaction!

We've fantasized about spraying it on someone's pillow, the outside of their coffee cup, the middle of a stack of papers in their office, the handset of their work phone, the handle of their toothbrush — the list could go on for weeks. P-A-D is for fun pranks. Now buy, buy, buy, and go forth and prank, prank, prank!

Question: Can Poo-Pourri counteract the stench?

Answer: No. Only time and ventilation weaken Pump-a-Dump's potency.

This product has been discontinued. Frown face!

Sorry, but this item is no longer available for purchase.

Burning Questions: You Ask, We Answer

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