Legal Paperweight

A paperweight that looks like crumpled legal paper.

Legal Paperweight
$19.95
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Overview:

The Legal Paperweight holds down your important documents while giving off that "I'm so into bands that you've never heard of, but I'm still approachable and fun" vibe. Yes, that is a lot for one paperweight to do, but that's why it's so curiously awesome.

Features & specs:

  • Weighs 10 ounces
  • 4" x 4" x 4"
  • Gift box
  • Made in the USA
  • Sculpted vinyl around metal weight

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Can you spot the paperweight?

(There is no prize for locating it. Sorry.)

Legal paperweight is hidden somewhere in this picture.
Show off your "Where's Waldo" skills by locating the paperweight.

Alright, so maybe the Legal Paperweight can't blend in perfectly with the batch of sun-bleached legal paper we had lying around the offices (apparently, we don't have much of a need for fourteen-inch-long pieces of paper), but it's pretty darned close.

Buy this paperweight because it makes you awesome-r.

It's a paperweight that looks like a piece of paper. That's pretty cool. And we all know that items we put on display for our co-workers to see must provide a glimpse into how much cooler we are outside the office. Yet, that item cannot be so intimidating that said co-workers avoid you for fear of not understanding your ultra-hip pop-culture references.

You want them thinking something like, "I bet she could kick my butt in an arm-wrestling match, but I'd enjoy losing."

Paperweight looks like a piece of paper.
Put the Legal Paperweight on top of a stack of paper to keep the pieces from getting up and running away.

$19.95

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A few customer questions we've answered

Q: Do cows say Moo?
A: Yes.
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Q: I disagree. I think cows say 'MEEUUUUUUUUHHH'.
A: Tomato, tomahto.
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Q: How heavy is the legal paperweight? Can it hold down the rogue pages near the front and the back of a book that try to close on you all the time?
A: The Legal Paperweights weighs approximately 11 ounces. This is heavy enough to hold down very large stacks of paper, so we're fairly certain it could handle those rogue pages.
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Q: So this is paper holding down paper?.....and what if someone throws it away thinking it is just a usless piece of paper? are you allowed to use a marshmellow bow and arrow and attack them?
A: While someone may be fooled initially just by looking at it, we doubt they'll mistake the Legal Paperweight for real paper once they pick it up. It's not heavy, per se, but it's significantly heavier than a piece of paper. However, if someone does happen to toss your Legal Paperweight, feel free to assault them violently with your Marshmallow Bow & Mallow.
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Q: So, what is this seemingly crumpled up piece of legal paper made of?
A: The Legal Paperweight is made of silk-screened vinyl that is crumpled by hand and wrapped around a steel weight.
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Q: is it heavy
A: It weighs 10 ounces, certainly enough to keep your papers in place.
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Q: what is a paperweight
A: A paperweight is often placed on top of loose paper to keep it from moving or blowing away.
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Q: Do you perchance sell illegal paperweights? I heard they have a much higher value on the black market and am interested...
A: No. We briefly flirted with the idea of dealing illegal African "conflict paperweights", but ultimately, the risk just wasn't worth the reward. So, only legal paperweights here.
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Q: if you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?
A: Silver?
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Q: You guys make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. THANK YOU. how many should I buy?
A: We're happy to be of service. As for your question, the answer is simple - all of them!
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Q: You guys crack me up. THANK YOU. I must now own this.
A: The pleasure is all ours.
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Q: If I were to use this paperweight in a paperwad fight, would it hurt someone? Especially if I hit them accidently on purpose?
A: It's possible. Not only does it weigh more than real paper, but it's also much more solid, of course, and has some slightly pointy edges. If you hit someone just right, it could hurt. So, we don't recommend throwing it at people, even if it's accidentally on purpose.
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Q: Will there be paperweights in the style of other types of paper, like A4?
A: At this point, we don't plan on carrying any styles but the legal pad paperweight.
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Total number of Burning Questions answered to date on Vat19.com: 3,598
 
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